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Dear Care and Feeding,
My wife “Lillian” and I live in a major metro area and have two kids, “Carter,” 1, and “Emerald,” 4. There are lots of pigeons around, and Emerald has always been fascinated by them. We feed them in the park regularly, and last week Emerald was delighted to get some to perch on her hands. However, when my wife saw the video on my phone, she was not delighted.
She reamed me out for supposedly putting our daughter in “danger” from diseases and now wants to ban us from feeding the pigeons entirely! I had Emerald use some hand sanitizer when she was finished, so I don’t see what the big deal is. My wife is being completely irrational, right?
—Bye-Bye Birdie
Dear Birdie,
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My Sister Just Revealed What She’s Really Been Up to With an Older Cousin. Our Family Wants Me to Keep an “Open Mind.”
When I was first read your letter, I was horrified to think of pigeons perched on your daughter’s hands and thought you were the irrational one. However, I’ve since been schooled by a great many pigeon enthusiasts who, like your daughter, take great joy in these birds, and I’ve come around on my pigeon prejudice. Yes, they can transmit disease, but it seems that the danger is largely from dust particles from scraping up dried pigeon poop, not touching the birds themselves. (Though hand-washing after handling them is essential.) In NYC, at least, feeding pigeons isn’t illegal, but it isn’t encouraged, mostly because the leftover feed attracts rats. (“Feed a pigeon, feed a rat,” says one city slogan.) Given all that, I do think “allowing my daughter to feed and hold pigeons” and “forbidding my daughter from feeding and holding pigeons” are both reasonable approaches to the pigeon question. But! Since your daughter loves pigeons, I think it’s worth trying to convince your wife to get over her own pigeon prejudice and get on team OK to feed and/or hold pigeons. Perhaps you can do you own pigeon research and present your wife with a plan that will be good for Emerald, the pigeons, and your marriage.
—Logan
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